You have probably been thinking about this for a while, maybe years. What am I supposed to be doing? What is the thing that would make all of this feel like it matters? You have turned it over in your head hundreds of times, considered options, explored ideas, maybe even made satisfying lists. But somehow you are still here, without the answer.

The problem is not that you lack ambition or clarity or self-awareness but that the way most people search for purpose makes it impossible to find. You are trying to think your way to something that does not live in your thoughts. You are looking in the future for something that only shows up in the present. And every time you project yourself into an imaginary next chapter and ask “is that it?” the answer feels flat because you are evaluating a thought, not a felt experience.

This experience is a short set of questions with a video from me before each one. It will not give you your purpose but it will show you why the search has not …

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You are tired, right? But not the kind of tired that a weekend fixes. The kind that sits underneath everything. You have probably tried resting. Maybe you took a holiday or a long break, came back and within a few weeks you were right back in the same place.

That is because the problem is not how much you are working but how you are working. Specifically it is what is fuelling you. Most high performers are running on some combination of urgency, obligation and low-grade fear. They do not notice it because it has been there so long it just feels like normal. But it is not normal, it is adrenaline. And adrenaline runs out.

This experience is a short set of questions with a video from me before each one. It will not tell you to work less or take more breaks. It will help you see what is actually draining you and what would need to change about the way you work for the energy to come back. There are no right answers. Just honesty.

At the end you can share your answers with me and I will send you a personal reflection. Or you can keep them private.

Questions

Q1: On a scale of 1 to 10, how burned out do you feel right now? And how long have you been at or above that level?

Q2: Make two lists. First, the parts of your work that drain you. Second, the parts that give you energy. Be specific about tasks, not categories.

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You do a hundred things a day without procrastinating. You reply to messages, make decisions, show up to meetings, solve problems. Then there are two or three things you keep NOT doing and you call yourself a procrastinator.

But are you really a procrastinator. What is this anyway? That’s not a personality type. It’s a pattern, and the pattern has a very specific structure: there’s a feeling attached to the thing you’re avoiding, and your system would rather stall than feel it.

This experience walks you through a short set of questions, each with a video from me, to help you see what’s actually happening underneath the procrastination. It’s not a productivity hack, don’t treat it as such. It’s a diagnostic. There are no right answers.

At the end, you can share your answers with me and I’ll send you a personal reflection. Or you can just keep them private. Either way, you’ll see procrastination differently after this.

Questions

Q1: Name 1–3 specific things you’ve been procrastinating on. Not categories, specific tasks or decisions.

Q2: For each one: when you imagine sitting down to do it, what feeling shows up in your body?

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Lots of high performers take pride of not being easily affected by feelings, by being in control of their emotions and rising up above them. Feelings are frequently considered ‘lame’ and are avoided. Some of them are the feelings of failure, rejection, being out of control, looking incompetent and, of course, being disliked.

You probably don’t think of it that way, potentially call it discipline or standards. But underneath every pattern that’s keeping you stuck there’s an emotion you learned a long time ago that it was not safe to feel.

This experience is a short series of questions, each paired with a video from me that gives you context before you answer. There are no right answers. The value is in your honesty with yourself.

At the end, you can email me your answers and I’ll send you a personal reflection back or you can keep them private. Both are valuable. The awareness is the point.

Questions

Q1: What’s the recurring problem in your work or life right now, the one that keeps showing up no matter what you do?

Q2: What feeling would you have to sit with if that problem actually resolved or if you took the action you’ve been avoiding?

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