Hi, thanks for that question. Hope you are ready to read a long answer :D
So, first things first, by the time you're asking the question, the realignment has usually already happened. Your body already knows, your nervous system already shifted, what energizes you has already changed. But you are carrying around cemented perceptions that don't match what you're actually experiencing anymore.
The problem is that part of you already made the transition though the rest of you is still performing an identity that doesn't fit anymore.
The most important part of the work is actually spotting that you're already misaligned and then articulating what's actually true now. So first step is deep awareness and articulation.
I typically start with the body stuff because your body doesn't lie the way your thoughts do. For example: What actually energizes you these days? Not what you think should energize you, not what used to energize you, what actually does right now. What drains you? What makes Sunday night feel terrible and what makes it feel fine? What kind of work or interaction leaves you feeling more alive versus more depleted?
Write it down without editorializing. Just document what's actually happening in your system when you do different things, interact with different people, work on different projects.
Then look at the perceptions you're carrying. They typically sound like 'I'm someone who...' statements. Write those down too.
There should be a mismatch in what your body sensations and your nervous system tell you VS what your perceptions are. You must spot that mismatch and articulate it honestly. The mismatches are where the realignment already happened but you haven't acknowledged it yet.
Once you've articulated it honestly, the amendments are usually obvious. The hard part is accepting that who you actually are now doesn't match who you thought you were supposed to be and that the identity you built around early success doesn't fit the person you've become.
If done honestly, that comes with some pain, because admitting it means letting go of the story you've been telling about yourself and that story felt powerful and special and important.
This article comes at the perfect time. How do we realign identity after early success falters?
Hi, thanks for that question. Hope you are ready to read a long answer :D
So, first things first, by the time you're asking the question, the realignment has usually already happened. Your body already knows, your nervous system already shifted, what energizes you has already changed. But you are carrying around cemented perceptions that don't match what you're actually experiencing anymore.
The problem is that part of you already made the transition though the rest of you is still performing an identity that doesn't fit anymore.
The most important part of the work is actually spotting that you're already misaligned and then articulating what's actually true now. So first step is deep awareness and articulation.
I typically start with the body stuff because your body doesn't lie the way your thoughts do. For example: What actually energizes you these days? Not what you think should energize you, not what used to energize you, what actually does right now. What drains you? What makes Sunday night feel terrible and what makes it feel fine? What kind of work or interaction leaves you feeling more alive versus more depleted?
Write it down without editorializing. Just document what's actually happening in your system when you do different things, interact with different people, work on different projects.
Then look at the perceptions you're carrying. They typically sound like 'I'm someone who...' statements. Write those down too.
There should be a mismatch in what your body sensations and your nervous system tell you VS what your perceptions are. You must spot that mismatch and articulate it honestly. The mismatches are where the realignment already happened but you haven't acknowledged it yet.
Once you've articulated it honestly, the amendments are usually obvious. The hard part is accepting that who you actually are now doesn't match who you thought you were supposed to be and that the identity you built around early success doesn't fit the person you've become.
If done honestly, that comes with some pain, because admitting it means letting go of the story you've been telling about yourself and that story felt powerful and special and important.